My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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