i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you