So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long