Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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