Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

worst lay ever....

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

as long as you cum, there is no bad sex

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement

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(403): worst lay ever.... (780): as long as you cum, there is no bad sex (403): ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement http://tfl.nu/cjn6

Replies (32) Good night (660) Bad night (6719)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?

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(856): My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic? http://tfl.nu/h7hc

Replies (13) Good night (5785) Bad night (831)
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(773): View more from Illinois

halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids

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(773): halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids http://tfl.nu/g564

Replies (19) Good night (4335) Bad night (1374)
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(313): View more from Michigan

he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7

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(313): he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7 http://tfl.nu/fzvy

Replies (3) Good night (2298) Bad night (812)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.

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(603): She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying. http://tfl.nu/6631

Replies (6) Good night (845) Bad night (3657)
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(443): View more from Maryland

the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.

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(443): the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this. http://tfl.nu/g4cn

Replies (8) Good night (4780) Bad night (1939)
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(813): View more from Florida

his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.

(407): View more from Florida

yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.

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(813): his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call. (407): yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/agts

Replies (10) Good night (3050) Bad night (857)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.

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(603): Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays. http://tfl.nu/na3q

Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (1471)
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(760): View more from California

I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.

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(760): I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional. http://tfl.nu/8oha

Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (482)
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(415): View more from California

I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.

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(415): I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain. http://tfl.nu/kod9

Replies (8) Good night (1485) Bad night (432)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.

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(402): I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/7j2p

Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (1198)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.

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(773): Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check. http://tfl.nu/xi8q

Replies (9) Good night (1824) Bad night (406)
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(818): View more from California

She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.

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(818): She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her. http://tfl.nu/k3ta

Replies (4) Good night (375) Bad night (959)
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(623): View more from Arizona

He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.

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(623): He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix. http://tfl.nu/za16

Replies (3) Good night (889) Bad night (411)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer

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(419): I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer http://tfl.nu/ezfg

Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (244)

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