I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
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Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation