I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.