Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face