Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

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(614): Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something? http://tfl.nu/rkwq

Replies (29) Good night (697) Bad night (3525)
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(352): View more from Florida

I used to practice getting hit by cars.

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(352): I used to practice getting hit by cars. http://tfl.nu/t3x2

Replies (23) Good night (2235) Bad night (3407)
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(347): View more from New York

she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.

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(347): she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick. http://tfl.nu/o2a1

Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (3715)
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(+82): View more from South Korea

Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.

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(+82): Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too. http://tfl.nu/v8p8

Replies (6) Good night (2364) Bad night (1135)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.

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(513): He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit. http://tfl.nu/4hrv

Replies (23) Good night (4362) Bad night (944)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.

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(217): Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/w6yk

Replies (6) Good night (2106) Bad night (827)
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(678): View more from Georgia

So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina

(404): View more from Georgia

I'm teaching my cat to play fetch

(678): View more from Georgia

Yep, it's a friday

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(678): So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina (404): I'm teaching my cat to play fetch (678): Yep, it's a friday http://tfl.nu/op0w

Replies (10) Good night (2188) Bad night (683)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.

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(770): Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever. http://tfl.nu/1wjc

Replies (6) Good night (1829) Bad night (518)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.

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(843): Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex. http://tfl.nu/rb17

Replies (11) Good night (485) Bad night (1805)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in

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(814): currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight (814): I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in http://tfl.nu/2u0u

Replies (17) Good night (774) Bad night (1544)
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(316): View more from Kansas

She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.

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(316): She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool. http://tfl.nu/dtry

Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (426)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.

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(502): So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/7j91

Replies (10) Good night (454) Bad night (692)
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(858): View more from California

Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?

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(858): Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body? http://tfl.nu/gksx

Replies (8) Good night (290) Bad night (874)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams

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(440): Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams http://tfl.nu/en8l

Replies (1) Good night (212) Bad night (632)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.

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(678): Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind. http://tfl.nu/sfym

Replies (1) Good night (621) Bad night (482)

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