We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.