on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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