You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So vagazzling was a success
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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