If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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