If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
