You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
