dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
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