tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
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