ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
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Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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