Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
