My first STD was from a foam party
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
