i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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