I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize