All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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