Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
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Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
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Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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