I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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