I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?