i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.