I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.