you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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