I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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