dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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