i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
