Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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