Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize