You just made me feel so damn special
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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