So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize