dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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