I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
