wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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