i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
