Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
