My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
