hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.