They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)