Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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