Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
