well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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