Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
