so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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