i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
