Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
