Are we in a gay sports bar?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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