yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize