Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
