He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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