How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
