I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
