I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
don't judge my taste in strippers
did you just send me my own nude
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
