I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
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Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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