I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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